Super Fantastic Nothings or Somethings

When I was a little philly, I day dreamed about being an adult and married with a cute cape cod and some really cute kids living in it. I always thought I would have a really trendy career and my husband would have a 9-5 gig.  I don't have the trendy career, I am a proud stay at home mom and my husband has a trendy bar tending job and drives for UBER and LYFT on the side. I have the cute cape cod and the cute kids. I am definitely blessed. Here's the thing! I came from a broken home. A lot of kids come from broken homes. I made a bunch of mistakes as a young person, I still make the occasional bad choice as an adult. I do however fix them or deal with them. No excuses! Why can't others realize this too? I always knew life wasn't going to be easy, people who seem to have everything didn't get to that point because of hand outs or some one always taking the blame/fall for them. They still have to wake up, figure out how to get where they want to be or continue on the ...

Tonight we read several books at bedtime. Typically we start with a new book and end up reading her favorites over and over again until she fell asleep.  Jane usually falls asleep after the first few pages of the first book but Adeline wants to hear every last word.  Our books tonight.. Mommy? A pop up scary story book  Sesame Street fairytale  ABC's Three Bears Halloween Trick or Treat shapes  The Gingerbread Man Just go to bed Runaway Bunny Good night moon I absolutely love reading to my kids, I love that they look forward to it every night and when I'm not feeling well, they love having daddy read the books!  But tonight was different. Adeline is smart, really smart. I don't typically brag but this seems worthy of it. She is only 3 and throughout all of the books tonight she was able to tell me what each shape was, find the shapes by herself, find common themes, express how the book made her feel and even correctly answer basic reading comprehension ques...

Running as fast and far away as I can just to feel like a deer in head lights again. Another subtle reminder of what once was without hesitation or consideration of my feelings then and even now.  I always look for the best in someone especially when they are at their worst. I have no idea what is really going on unless I ask. I cannot judge a person based on their actions alone.  Actions speak louder than words... But words are incredibly powerful.  I hope one day to be remembered as the person I have spent my entire life striving to become, the person I am now. Or that people will try and understand why I made/make some of the mistakes or choices.  I guess I am going about it all wrong. I should remind people more often of the negative things they did once upon a time. But I won't.  I'm an open book and will tell you my story, if you ever care to ask. 

So much has changed this year. I changed my eating habits or in other words lifestyle change for the better. I have at this point lost 35+lbs and am so happy with myself! I have cheated a lot but my over indulging is a thing of the past. I am so thankful for the support from all of my friends and family and all the compliments as well! I am finally getting comfortable in my skin.  I also recently started Copaxone. A daily shot for MS that I never thought I'd be able to do! I had to stop the Gilenya because of some side effects that occurred. So, I stopped the medicine and 2 weeks later I was hospitalized for a relapse. It was a pretty depressing experience and really really don't want it to happen again! Thankfully the Copaxone has been a wonder drug at this point. A lot has changed with my girls too! Mary turned 10, double digits?!!! I am still adjusting to that and we recently started a new journey together!! She is becoming such a beautiful and intelligent young lady and it ...