Super Fantastic Nothings or Somethings

 12/13/2022 When we send texts, make calls, answer emails, etc.  We think what a miniscule interaction it is to us and the person on the other end of the line.  The simple error of a calling someone the wrong name, is not simple.  The assumption that this wrong name doesn't hold so many emotions, good bad and ugly. I have always been lucky enough to be happy with my name.  I am lucky enough to be happy with the gender I was assigned at birth. I am lucky enough to be in a safe relationship. I am lucky enough.      Today, I asked someone if they wanted any information about a product my company is offering to current and previous customers. Simple customer service, right?      The person at the other end of the simple text I sent, was covered with emotions of trauma and experiences I will never know or understand. I would've never known. I am so glad they addressed it. I was speaking to someone and addressing them by their abusers nam...

 I have to process what happened since everything was going right and then crashed, burned, and has to be rebuilt.  We could start from the very beginning but I would never finish. Let’s start from what’s fresh in the brains trauma factory.  I spent many days in the hospital last month surviving, trying to do everything in my power to stay alive. I have friends, family, and my husband and children who need me. I saw all of those people as a purpose to fight. They are worthy of winning the hardest battles. The only person I was actually saving, was myself. I didn’t think about that person. The one I wake up with every day, the only person that knows me and what I’m thinking and feeling in the darkest depths of my soul. I have to survive so I can learn to live, live with myself. Love myself, continue to work on myself. Evolve myself, if I can do that, I’m teaching those I love and survey for how to do the same. So? I wrote down 4 words.. Process. Create. Save. Learn.  ...

Hi. Welcome back, lets pick up from where we last left off. The timeline leading here is ummm... a lot of dumpster fires... /but here we are. IT'S FINE. a little update on the good bad and UGLY-2022. I had a boy named George Wolfgang. He is 5 and ginger.  I have a kid named Ace, they are 10 and my life guide.  Mary is a  freshman at Ohio State majoring in Psychology and dating a lil sailor.  Jane, my baby jane is 15, desperate to drive a manual shift car, she has MS, had brain surgery and is so smart. Donald Trump was the president.  We are 2 years deep in a global pandemic.  I have lost countless people I love figuratively and literally.  My family lost everything in a fire on Mothers day 2021.  I am recovering from Covid pneumonia and have 5 nodules on my lungs. TBD But, I found myself again. Lets call her Willow. She's my inner child and my heart.  Get ready, because here I come.

phoe·nix ˈfēniks/ noun (in classical mythology) a unique bird that lived for five or six centuries in the Arabian desert, after this time burning itself on a funeral pyre and rising from the ashes with renewed youth to live through another cycle. a person or thing regarded as uniquely remarkable in some respect. **copied and pasted from Google** Last Thursday, Mary was accepted to Phoenix Middle School!! The second definition of the word Phoenix describes her perfectly and when I wrote about her on the application to the school, I used the same words to describe her but I never knew she was a Phoenix. She is definitely going to the right Middle School!!  Our family is so proud of her and looking forward to her experiences.

My mom has always said she likes to find the good in people, similar to Pollyanna. Whether she likes it or not, it's not always a good quality to have. She always told me I wear my heart on my sleeve, another quality that isn't always a good one. Seems pretty negative to disagree with her wanting to find the good or people or loving everyone regardless of their actions but let me finish. She recently learned that it is sometimes hard or impossible to find the good in people, including the ones she loves...like ALOT.  She and a few others recently dealt with a pretty heavy situation involving people they love and the outcome wasn't pretty. It was quite ugly! Not the first time my family has dealt with some ugly situations but it affected someone that has NEVER  put herself first and always done what is right regardless of the situation. Back to my point I am trying to make..when someone lives their life always finding the good and overlooking the truth behind the good..it ca...

I'm totally biased but Jane is absolutely the coolest kid around and when she comes home crying about not having many friends, it breaks my heart in to pieces. She held herself together until she saw me and the tears poured down her face. She recently became friends with a little girl because the little girl is teased and didn't have any friends either.  Third grade has been tough on Jane and dealing with her own insecurities and self confidence makes having friends very important because she wants to feel part of a group or included. Jane asked me to have lunch with her at school yesterday. It meant the world to me that she wanted to acknowledge me at school and as difficult as it was to plan around having a sick kid at home and a needy three year old, I knew I needed to make the time for her. I'm so glad I made it to lunch because I saw a little glimpse of what she goes through everyday. I noticed her anxiety as soon as we walked into the lunch room.  She wal...

When I was a little philly, I day dreamed about being an adult and married with a cute cape cod and some really cute kids living in it. I always thought I would have a really trendy career and my husband would have a 9-5 gig.  I don't have the trendy career, I am a proud stay at home mom and my husband has a trendy bar tending job and drives for UBER and LYFT on the side. I have the cute cape cod and the cute kids. I am definitely blessed. Here's the thing! I came from a broken home. A lot of kids come from broken homes. I made a bunch of mistakes as a young person, I still make the occasional bad choice as an adult. I do however fix them or deal with them. No excuses! Why can't others realize this too? I always knew life wasn't going to be easy, people who seem to have everything didn't get to that point because of hand outs or some one always taking the blame/fall for them. They still have to wake up, figure out how to get where they want to be or continue on the ...

Tonight we read several books at bedtime. Typically we start with a new book and end up reading her favorites over and over again until she fell asleep.  Jane usually falls asleep after the first few pages of the first book but Adeline wants to hear every last word.  Our books tonight.. Mommy? A pop up scary story book  Sesame Street fairytale  ABC's Three Bears Halloween Trick or Treat shapes  The Gingerbread Man Just go to bed Runaway Bunny Good night moon I absolutely love reading to my kids, I love that they look forward to it every night and when I'm not feeling well, they love having daddy read the books!  But tonight was different. Adeline is smart, really smart. I don't typically brag but this seems worthy of it. She is only 3 and throughout all of the books tonight she was able to tell me what each shape was, find the shapes by herself, find common themes, express how the book made her feel and even correctly answer basic reading comprehension ques...

Running as fast and far away as I can just to feel like a deer in head lights again. Another subtle reminder of what once was without hesitation or consideration of my feelings then and even now.  I always look for the best in someone especially when they are at their worst. I have no idea what is really going on unless I ask. I cannot judge a person based on their actions alone.  Actions speak louder than words... But words are incredibly powerful.  I hope one day to be remembered as the person I have spent my entire life striving to become, the person I am now. Or that people will try and understand why I made/make some of the mistakes or choices.  I guess I am going about it all wrong. I should remind people more often of the negative things they did once upon a time. But I won't.  I'm an open book and will tell you my story, if you ever care to ask. 

So much has changed this year. I changed my eating habits or in other words lifestyle change for the better. I have at this point lost 35+lbs and am so happy with myself! I have cheated a lot but my over indulging is a thing of the past. I am so thankful for the support from all of my friends and family and all the compliments as well! I am finally getting comfortable in my skin.  I also recently started Copaxone. A daily shot for MS that I never thought I'd be able to do! I had to stop the Gilenya because of some side effects that occurred. So, I stopped the medicine and 2 weeks later I was hospitalized for a relapse. It was a pretty depressing experience and really really don't want it to happen again! Thankfully the Copaxone has been a wonder drug at this point. A lot has changed with my girls too! Mary turned 10, double digits?!!! I am still adjusting to that and we recently started a new journey together!! She is becoming such a beautiful and intelligent young lady and it ...

I was so excited to receive my first Buzz Campaign. A friend on Facebook has blogged a few times about her Buzz Campaigns and that's how I found out about it. So, here it goes, My first review!!!! I drink coffee every morning. My hubby knows how to make me the perfect cup. But I love trying new flavors and don't mind drinking "instant" because he can make any cup of coffee taste good. When we go camping and use coffee packets similar to tea, he can make that taste delicious, so finding something ready to go and makes a flavor filled coffee drink is music to my ears!! So, I turned on my electric teapot and followed the directions on the packet. It read, use HOT water but not boiling. Ok, done! Time to drink my Nescafé Momento mocha :) It tasted really good but not what I had hoped for. It definitely didn't satisfy me. I had to make a lot of coffee after just because it just wasn't hitting the spot. The following day I tried the caramel macchiato flavor and...

At the beginning of 2013, I decided to take the opportunity and join Avon as an indepedent sales rep for extra money. Ryan and I loved the idea of me being  home with the kids and still finding time to do something I enjoy and also bring in some extra money. I looked at a lot of different companies and felt like Avon was the perfect fit for me and my family.  Well, it turns out, I was right and I love what I am doing! I thought this would be a part-time gig and it has turned into my very own business. I achieved leadership within my first 2 weeks! I have more and more customers coming to my online store everyday! It is all I think about. Everywhere I go, I think about giving someone a catalog or telling them about the opportunity Avon can give them. They really want you to succeed and they help you make it possible. It is such an empowering company and the more I get involved and indulge in learning more about the company as whole, I fall a little more in love. Not to menti...

Jane wanted to choose dessert tonight and I was totally okay with it..especially because she finished her dinner without any complaints! I asked her what she wanted to have, expecting her to say cotton candy or anything else that would have gave her a sugar high an hour before bed.  NOPE, SHE SAID A SMOOTHIE, Say What?!!  So we went to the kitchen, I let her pick all of the ingredients  and she came up with the best smoothie I have ever tasted!!   I told her I wanted to post the recipe on my blog and on Pinterest because it was that good! So here it is! Jane's Strawberry Blueberry Smoothie   You will need:   1 tablespoon honey 2 cups Greek Goddess Strawberry Honey yogurt (best yogurt on the planet) 8 oz frozen strawberries 2 cups blueberries 1 whole banana  2 whole kiwi Directions: Slice the banana and kiwi, throw everything in the blender and blend to your favorite consistency and enjoy!!  ...

Haven't blogged in what feels like forever . Lots of happenings. Late August or early September, I decided to change my lifestyle by becoming Gluten Free. It was a very difficult transition but the results have been completely worth it. I still have the occasional loss of will power and take a bite of Kraft Mac and cheese or sometimes I complete forget I am eating something filled with Gluten and stop because I know I am going to pay for it later on. I will still on occasion eat pizza when it is offered but most of the time I turn it down. All in all, it is now just a way of life. The kids have even embraced it and will ask if the food we are eating has Gluten or not. Most times they are pleasantly surprised at how much they like the dish I have made. Even my most picky eater, Jane loves loves loves GF Mac and Cheese. *GF=gluten free* A little background to the decision. While most of you know, I have MS. This past spring I was hospitalized and given mass amounts of steri...

       My family is going through a million different changes this year and one of them is living on one income. It is a hard ship to sail but I see the lighthouse at the end of the ocean. When I really started "repinning" for a purpose I just knew it was going to help in a plethora of ways. So, floating along Pinterest this summer I found countless amazing ideas, recipes, DIY, fashion tips, hair do's and everything else a person could ever dream of wanting to do or need to do. I thought I would start blogging on the ones that have changed my life ever so much. In no particular order, here we go!! 1.  HOMEMADE LAUNDRY DETERGENT. Yes, its true and I cannot believe how drastic my grocery bill is when I don't by detergent anymore. I am making the powder version she has on her blog because I don't have anything to put the liquid detergent in yet but I will say that the powder is lasting forever and doesn't leave any residue at all. AMAZING!!   h...

Found this picture on Facebook, describes me to a tee :)

Get with the program people..and these windmills don't require you to carry them along to power anything. I asked a woman in the grocery store we stopped at what all of them powered, there were hundreds and she said they powered thousands of homes in New York and if you read the sign at the rest stop the one in the corn field and a few more could power 70,000 homes!! Can you imagine all the money we could save and jobs this could create!

The family and I finished our last week with Shawn and our last real week of summer out of town! We went to my aunts house in Michigan and my favorite city in the world..Chicago <3 It was so nice to get away and just relax at the beach and tour a city that I could live in and almost became a bum in one winter night ;) I loved not having a schedule and staying in one of my favorite Hilton brand of hotels for next to nothing because of my husbands awesome career move!  Hilton Garden Inn Magnificent Mile  I posted the pics on Facebook so take a peek! So, its the end of summer. On Tuesday that girls and I will find out who their teachers are and schedule our conferences for the first day. I feel like my life is constantly changing and too quickly. From my recent hair changes (I have bangs and I love them) to my oldest child starting fourth grade. ugh My heart breaks just thinking about it. This week is going to be filled with a lot of getting back to early bed...